(from where I sit)
Program Notes
Carol Broke A Dish
"Carol Broke a Dish" is about being true to one's self. It is about one woman's realization that becoming calmer or more peaceful is not always the path to one's deeper self - that sometimes becoming angry, or no longer accepting a certain state of affairs is actually the right thing to do. It is a song of transformation, of awakening and of growth.
The electronic sample which loops through the duration of "Carol Broke a Dish" sets the meditative tone of a situation droning on and on. The tenor saxophone's improvisations over the middle section serve to show an awakening and shift in consciousness. The violin screeches as that section closes and the percussive vocal comes in to repeat the title phrase - whispering, then softly uttering, then loudly and confidently speaking the part - and the transformation is complete.
Be Ground
My concept for this piece comes from a poem by Rumi, a 13th Century Sufi poet. An excerpt reads: ". very little grows on jagged rock. Be ground. Be crumbled, so wildflowers will come up where you are. . . Try something different. Surrender." I think this poem is about softening. Rumi writes: "Don't pretend to know something you haven't experienced" -- as if ego and "hardness" will not allow any kind of growth. I looked for a loop that reminded me of jagged rock, and found one that sounded to me like a pile-driver breaking through rock or hard earth. The struggle to break, or loosen the soil (surrendering to growth and change) ends by 2:21 in the piece: the pile-driver's work is done, the violin changes to 8th notes on the up-beat, and the vocals are now ecstatic and freed of digging-work. All is soft, lush, and surrendering.
Sahara
The juxtaposition of jazz trumpet improvisations over North African drumming grooves and sparse, linear piano and string parts reach out to spread an expansive terrain on which to travel. The eighth-note patterns of the clarinet on the second theme weave a rhythm in 3/4 while the percussion rests. Some sand gets kicked up during the transition to the final "A" theme, with a section I can only describe as "spinning." The synthesizer drones slowly throughout the piece, its sounding chords morphing gradually as the notes are sustained.
The visual I had while writing this piece was a calm, moonlit desert, warm and clear - a wide-open space, an enveloping kind of darkness with just the slightest shimmer of silver. Emotionally, what comes through in "Sahara" is the bittersweet taste of that calm - the delicious sort of ache of being alone.
Purse-Sized Gong
"Purse-Sized Gong is about coming of age in the late 1970's. In it I pay tribute to some of the diverse musical influences of my youth. 1970's funk, the minimalism of Steve Reich, and the hard rock band Led Zeppelin from whom I borrowed a motif of "Kashmir" (which can be heard in the middle section) all contributed to the feel and fun of this composition.
Silence
"Silence" concerns my experience of the loss of my father. In the days and months following his death I felt, or rather heard, an incredible silence coming from his corner of the room. It was as if the tremendous space he filled in my life was equal to the greatness of the silence that filled my ears when he was gone. It was, quite simply, the loudest silence I had ever heard.
The idea that silence could actually be loud seemed a difficult one to convey. I saw a parallel with the philosophical notion that within everything is its opposite and realized that I could show one or the other and still get my meaning across.
With the assumption that leaving large amounts of silence within the score would confuse an audience (Is it over yet?) I decided to use a digital sample of a sound called "Void" to represent pure silence. The first section of "Silence" (with the playful marimba line) portrays the time before his death. The middle section is an uncomfortably long silence - as time seemed to stop when he died. The third section - the most frantic and intense -- shows the ringing loudness in my head.
The lyrics that are repeated over and over by the three vocalists are simple, day-to-day sayings that I heard him utter countless times in my life: asking my mom for tea, (Frankie, cup o' tea?) telling me to kiss my kids for him (Kiss the kids hon') his wonderful laugh (Hah!), his phone greeting (What 'ch'up to?) his favorite team (Roll Tide!) and his way of encouraging me (Give 'em hell, Ween!).
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